So, this week was interesting, diabetes-wise.
Sunday night: I check my blood sugar before bed, and I'm at 158, and had recently had a snack. So, I think "Good! I'll go to bed...no worries!". And, I do. And, I'm tired, so I fall asleep relatively quickly. About an hour and a half later, I am rudely awakened to Dexie vibrating away on the nightstand. I can't help it, but I got sarcastic, in my head. (Those of you that know me, you are not surprised). I thought, "seriously???". I check it, it says I'm low. One arrow, straight down. My husband asks if I'm ok. I told him that Dexie was smoking crack, cuz there was NO way I was low. (Slightly ashamed to admit it, but I did...I said it). So I stomp out to the kitchen where I had left my meter, since there was NO way I was going to be low overnight. (Do I have to mention that my attitude was not awesome?) In the kitchen, I check my blood sugar....and I'm under 80, which is where we have the bottom alarm set on Dexie. So, I roll my eyes, mentally apologize to Dexie and have a snack. I go back to bed, and have to admit to my hubby that Dexie was not, in fact, smoking crack. Humbling.
Monday: Go to work, everything's fine. Eat lunch, a reasonably healthy one, and take the appropriate amount of insulin. All's well. I see three patients after lunch most days. During the last appointment of that day, I feel Dexie vibrate in my lab coat pocket. I ignore it, cuz my hands are in someone's mouth, and besides, I feel fine. Well, obviously, a few minutes later, Dexie starts beeping. (She kinda likes to be the center of attention...when she feels like it...so really, she's like a cat). I apologize to my patient, take off my dirty gloves and check Dexie to make her Shhhh. She says I'm low. Seriously??? I feel fine, so I explain what it is to my patient (don't want him thinking I'm checking my emails on my phone or something) put clean gloves on, and get ready to finish up. My patient is very gracious, and says no problem, and asks if there's anything I need to do. I say, not yet. Then, I realize how dumb this is. Why would I wait until I feel bad? Isn't that the point of Dexie?? I call for an assistant, who is gracious enough to help me finish my patient while I drink some juice. So, we finish up with work, and I go to meet girlfriends for dinner. Not even an hour after the juice box, Dexie is yelling at me again! So, I end up using my series of lows as an excuse to have a not super healthy dinner, I take NO insulin for it, and I'm still not high. We went out for frozen yogurt after dinner, I took insulin, and I finally got back to normal.
Tuesday: Again, all is well until after lunch. I eat relatively healthy, take appropriate insulin, and again crash during my last patient. The timing was a little better this time, and I was able to finish my own patient before chugging a juice box. (Note: "juice" in juice boxes is sickeningly sweet!)
The other days were pretty normal, although yesterday and today I've been running high. But, this I expected due to the time of the month that it is, hormone-wise. But, usually, this whole last week would run high. But, as you read, it didn't. At all.
Why??? Why can't it just be logical??? Why is it I can eat a certain menu one day and my body reacts one way. Then, the next day, I can eat the exact same thing at the exact same times, with no more or less exercise, and my body does NOT react the same way AT ALL. For those of us who REALLY like to control things, this is a huge issue. Diabetes is just not logical. The general concept is logical. Figure out your carb/insulin ratio (I won't even mention that this changes over time), and it's a simple math problem. This many carbs+this much insulin= it'll all work out fine. Except that it just doesn't always. Is this what they call "new math"? So many varying factors, apparently including the phases of the moon, come into play.
And so, at times like these, I just have to remember to let it go...and let God handle it. He's the only one who can. And, also remind myself that there is no such thing as being a perfect diabetic (or PWD...person with diabetes) so I might as well not expect to be one. Just do the best I can each time I have a choice to make, and deal with it as it comes. And pray. A lot. :) And keep Dexie, a meter, and some juice nearby. Cuz you just never know...
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